Readers, not only have I taken my serger out of its box, not only have I also read the instruction manual in full (well, almost), BUT I have also RETHREADED the blighter! Oh yes.
The rethreading part took me about three hours, 2 hours and 55 minutes of which were spent trying to work out how to get all four threads in the right configuration and under the presser foot so that a) they wouldn't get snipped by the blade and b) they would actually wind themselves round the fabric.
I sat through this muzak, alas to no avail:
Eventually it worked, but I'm not quite sure what I did nor if I could do it again. I took a close up photo of what it should look like for future reference, so at least I have some kind of starting point next time I need to rethread it:
As you can see, in an effort to put all that manual reading to good use, I've labelled the different parts of the machine. I want to get into the habit of saying "differential feed ratio adjustment lever" rather than "that twiddly bit at the end".
And finally, just look at what it can do! The dual cutting-stitching action is super satisfying to witness and will make finishing seams - the most boring part of sewing in my opinion - much more fun. Hurrah!
[Soundtrack: 'Bonnie and Clyde' by Serge Gainsbourg]